Dealing With Grief

Thursday’s morning my Grandfather, Bobby Proctor, passed away. I had gotten up early that morning because I was supposed to go stay with him that day. When I heard a knock on the door, I panicked thinking I had overslept. I wish it that was what my Mom had to say… The very last thing I expected to hear was he had passed.

I knew Papa Bob was close to death, I just didn’t expect it so soon. I thought I had myself mentally prepared for that day…but I was wrong. Part of me was praying and believing deeply for a miracle; I wanted my Grandpa saved, healed and to, finally, be able to have a good life in Christ, but I also prayed for what was best for him. We don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, but we have peace knowing one day we will.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.” 1 Corinthians 13:9-10.

One day we will understand it all and what a wonderful thing we have to look forward to.

When my Great Grandmother passed, I had the hope of knowing she was in Heaven with her family who had passed on before her. I knew I would see her again, I knew she was pain free and happy… That hope was one thing that kept me going, I knew I would see her again someday, but what about the people we aren’t sure about? How do we cope with their deaths? How do we handle the uncertain and even guilt that follows?

I’ll be honest, I don’t know if my Grandpa is in Heaven or not. I pray with all my heart that he finally called upon the Name Of The Lord before he passed on. One thing I do know, God is merciful and He is gracious. My Grandfather had many close calls and could have died then, but my God kept him alive and gave him so many chances. As long is there is breath in our bodies, there is a chance to be saved, all we have to do is call upon Him.

For ‘whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.’” Romans 10:13.

Death isn’t easy, but, sadly, it is a part of life and I know it is difficult to cope. Loosing someone you love and care about is never simple and the pain never quite seems to go away, but don’t let the grief overwhelm you. I am an emotional person and that’s okay because God created me that way. I cried a lot the day of his passing—in fact, I am crying as I write this—and that’s okay. Take time, mourn, celebrate the good—even if it seems so small and insignificant—think on those precious memories and thank God for the time you had with your loved one(s). Don’t try to bury the pain, let the Lord help you handle it.

My Dad and I were talking the day of my Grandfather’s passing. I thank God for the days I was able to spend with him. The biggest blessing was being able to help him and he actually enjoyed me being there. I have some very special memories that I will always cherish. It was so hard seeing him slowly decline, but those moments where we talked and even laughed are worth their weighed in gold. I know thinking back also brings pain, but remember the good and always be thankful for the time you had. Think on the good things!

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8.

When I heard of his passing, I had regrets; I wondered if I done enough, if I said enough, if I had prayed enough… I can’t change anything now, but I did what I felt like the Lord wanted me to do and I know that was enough. If you feel lead to do or say something, do it. Don’t let one chance pass by because you never know if that might be the last opportunity you will have. Every second in our lives are precious and a gift from God so be sure to use it wisely. As I grow older, I see more and more how important time is. Little talks and smiles may seem unimportant or inconvenient, but take the time to give people precious memories. Show people you care about them, make each moment count… Live without regrets.

As children of the King, we are here for one another. Talk to the Lord about any worries or cares, but also reach out to those around you. I know I would rather deal with issues by myself, but it is easiest to attack a sheep when they are by themselves… There are strengths in numbers so don’t feel like you are weak for asking for help and remember the Lord is always with you.

I cope by writing and I thought I would share this piece with you. I pray that God gives you peace in this troubling time. Know that you are His wonderful work and He has beautiful plans for you. Know that you are precious, so precious that He died for you. Never forget that.

My prayers are with you,

K.N. Proctor.

Dreams Do Come True

You know, dreams do come true and I am so thankful for that. I am so glad that God has brought to pass some of my dreams and I know He will bring the rest to pass or help me change the ones that do not fit into His perfect plan.

One thing I have always desired was my soul mate, but it seemed like I would be single forever, like I was the only one without that special person. I held onto the hope that God would soon bring that person into my life, the one that He wanted for me. Before long, He did and I couldn’t have been happier… Until last week.

Our two year anniversary was the 5th. We had gone out to eat and celebrated it the day before since we would be busy with church the day of. I had already given him his gift and I couldn’t wait to get mine. I had a few different ideas and I hoped that maybe I might even get a ring… He, of course, kept his lips tightly sealed. Finally, however, he did bring me my gift and it was what I hoped and prayed for.


(Sorry for the blurry picture)

Beautiful, isn’t it? I had actually looked at a few and this was one I had picked out. While I had hoped/prayed it was going to be a ring, I still was so surprised. Of course being the emotional person that I am, I cried… I was just so happy and excited….what gal wouldn’t be?

Sometimes when we get what we want it doesn’t always work out or we are disappointed, but I can honestly say that this time my dream didn’t match reality and I ended up with something much better than I had imagined. God is so good.

I hope and pray that your dreams come true. Dear beautiful dreamer, never give up hope! God will bring the dreams that He instills in you to pass!

God bless,

K.N. Proctor

You Did It All For Me Original Song

Check out the YouTube video here!

You Did It All For Me


Justin Mason and K.N. Proctor


Verse One:

The devil is a liar, the father thereof,

I stand in the truth, all from above,

You said it wouldn’t be easy, You said it’d be all right,

I trust in You to guide me through the night.


There will be trails along the way, but You promised You would always stay.



You stilled the waters, You cured the blind,

Freed the people, stopped the hands of time,

You took my burdens, nailed to the tree,

You did it all for me.


Verse Two:

Here I’ve fallen, time and time again,

You picked me up and freed me from my sins,

Fought the same old battles, listen to the same old lines,

But I trust in You to always be on time.


Repeat Pre-Chorus and Chorus.

Take My Hand And Never Let Go Chapter Seven: G Is For Give

Summary: If you could write your love story, what would it say? Would it include the good with the bad? The sadness with the joy? The laughter with the pain? You x OC. A series of drabbles.

Word Prompt: Give.


Take My Hand And Never Let Go


K.N. Proctor


Chapter Seven

G is for Give…



You had given a lot in your life: time, money, ect. Yet, it never seemed enough. You generally liked helping people, even if it seemed against your flawed personality. The person you wanted to help the most seemed to be the very hardest to reach… You were at a loss, you wanted to rid him of the hauntings of his past so he could finally have a hopeful future.

You watched William curiously, gently chewing on the end of your pencil in thought. ‘If only I could—‘

He raised his brows lightly as you caught you staring. “Are we having problems? Or is your face just stuck like that, dear?”

Your brow twitched, but you tried not to stoop to his level. “No,” you quietly grumbled. “Why are you here anyway?” You had wanted to ask why he was such a jerk, but that wouldn’t end well and just wasn’t polite, so you refrained.

“Do you want me to leave, [Name]?” When you shook your head, he smiled lightly. “Well, then, does it matter?”

“Well, no… But, ugh!” He made you want to pull your hair out, made you want to scream; he was the most frustrating boy you have ever met! It was a wonder that you had been friends this long… “Can’t you just answer one question?”

“Yes,” His lip twitched in a smirk. “I can. I just did, dear. Now, do you mind? We do have an English project due in two days. Don’t tell me you forgot?”

“Of course not!” You avoided looking at him because he would know the truth if he looked into your eyes… It was unsettling how well he could read you. “Uh, I am just putting off until the right time…”

“Hm, would you like my help?”

“Yes…” You were pathetic and you knew it.

He joined you on the floor, and handed you his paper. “Take a look at this and see if it helps you any.”

Somehow, you would find a way to give back to him, a way to help him, but right now you didn’t mind his help. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. ‘He isn’t so bad… He is even sort of cute from this angle…’

He raised his brows when he saw your stare. “Problem, [Last Name]?”

Never mind! He was ugly! You wouldn’t want him if he were the last man on earth! ‘Still,’ you refocused on your text book. ‘Ugh… Dear Brain, what is wrong with you?’

Despite his annoying behavior, he was just someone crying for help, but so were you. Maybe you could give to each other; you just hoped you gave more than you took.

Take My Hand And Never Let Go Chapter Six: F is for Fate…

Summary: If you could write your love story, what would it say? Would it include the good with the bad? The sadness with the joy? The laughter with the pain? You x OC. A series of drabbles.

Word Prompt: Fate…



 Take My Hand And Never Let Go


K.N. Proctor


Chapter Six:

F is for Fate…



You watched the couples dance—rather distastefully, in your opinion—from your vantage point. You carefully leaned against the railing; it wasn’t exactly a safe place and if the teachers caught you… Well, let’s just say some college might not appreciate expulsion on your record, not that you actually care or anything. You didn’t let it bother you too much; they all seemed too preoccupied to pay any mind to you anyway.

So, you continued to watch them with some morbid curiosity. Some deeply buried part of you desperately longed to join them, but you were never one to enjoy dances. While you liked to claim it was because you weren’t a “people” person, but honestly, it was because you seemed to have two left feet. You found this out when William forced you to dance; it was also then, you were for sure he was the devil himself. It didn’t end pretty: you ended up with a broken ankle and he a broken nose, although, his nose issue was not caused by your dancing but as a result of his laughter and your fist. That, however, is another story.

For everyone’s safety—and possible sanity—the best place for you to be was right here. The view was nice and you were all to yourself, which was perfectly fine with you.

“Are we avoiding someone?” he cooed in your ear, nearly scaring you enough to fall off your precarious perch. “My apologies, I forgot that you are so jumpy…” It was statements like that, that caused his last broken nose.

‘So much for being alone… Figures.’ You smacked his arm—less dangerous than normal and no broken bones this way. “Yeah, like I really believe that bull!” You smacked him again, this time for pure fun. “Was that really necessary?”

“No,” He grinned; as he tried to discreetly rub his arm. “But it was fun…Why are you up here, [Name]?”

“Seriously? You know I can’t dance! Stop being so cruel!”

“Of course, dear… Didn’t you break your ankle?” He managed to avoid your next smack, but you took satisfaction from his obvious fear.  “Honestly, [Name], must we be so violent?”

“Yes,” You barely held back your smirk. His expressions never ceased to amuse you; he could be so expression when he let his guard down, which only seemed to happen around you. You weren’t sure if that was a  good thing…

“Oh?” He finally sat beside you, closer than he normally would. You mentally tucked that away for later, but it could mean nothing…it could also mean everything.

“Yes!” You finally snapped as he drew even closer. Just what was he up, too?! You narrowed your eyes and tried to ignore him for the time being.


‘Ignore, ignore, ignore…’ For his physical state and your mental one, it would be for the best. ‘Why did I come to this stupid dance anyway?’

“Can I ask you something?”

 ‘Ignore, ignore… Wait, what?’ “Huh?” Normally, you could somewhat read his expressions and knew what to expect, but this time his look was so serious you had no idea what he had in mind and this unnerved you. “What?”

His eyes focused on something far away; he looked deep in thought. “[Name], do you believe in fate?”

That, wasn’t what you expected. You eyed him uneasily.. “I didn’t say you could ask me! Gosh, I sw—“

He muttered your name softly and you stilled. He was studying you and you shrunk under the intense look. He was close, close enough you could feel the faint puffs of breath against your lips… Finally, he smiled, gently tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Can’t you just play nice?”

That snapped your back into reality. You shook your head and smiled back, although less easier than he did. “No… Gotta give me points for honesty!”

“Right…” That smile was back and you didn’t know how to take it…

“Okay… Fine… Yes, I believe in fate. What up with the question?”

His smile turned into that sarcastic grin you knew so well; you relaxed. “Why should I play nice now? Fair turnabout and all.”

Things were normal now, he was back to his predictable self. “Um…because you’re nice?”

He laughed lightly. He said nothing for a while, but finally sighed, meeting your gaze head on. “I believe in fate, but I also believe in timing. What about you?”

There was something very important about this conversation, but you just couldn’t quite grasp the unspoken. ‘Sometimes, William, you are way too intelligent for me…’ “I suppose.”

He stood suddenly and you were grateful that the subject was dropped. He offered you’re his hand. “Dance with me?”

You stared at it for a moment, perhaps in shock or perhaps in hesitation, before taking it. He carefully kept his hands on your waist and you slid your hands up to his firm shoulders.

Fate wasn’t anything you had really thought on before, but with his question, you couldn’t help but wonder… Your eyes met his and the look there made you question a few things. Perhaps you were fated to be with him and perhaps not. For now, you were content in this dance, to be in his arms.

As if he knew your thoughts, he smiled again and pulled you closer.

Once day, maybe you will have it all figured out. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the soft smell of his aftershave. For now, you were happy as you were.

Take My Hand And Never Let Go Chapter Five: E is for Enchanted

Summary: If you could write your love story, what would it say? Would it include the good with the bad? The sadness with the joy? The laughter with the pain? You x OC. A series of drabbles.

Author’s Note: I love this chapter… Love stories are beautiful, everyone’s is unique…  Anyway, enjoy!



 Take My Hand And Never Let Go


K.N. Proctor


Chapter Five:

E is for Enchanted…



The waves gently tickled your toes as you wiggled them in the sand. ‘Free manicure!’ You giggled to yourself; you were just enjoying the childishness of the situation. In reality, you were still very much a child and you didn’t plan are growing up anytime soon. Your friend, however, was like an old man trapped in a teen’s body. It was sad, really.

“Hm, [Name],” He joined you, but he did not follow your lead in the toe wiggling game—the loser. “Dare I ask what you are thinking?”

“You can, but,” You faced him with an overly mischievous grin. “I am not so sure you would like the answer… They say ignorance is bliss, right?”

“Right…” He had always been the curious type, the one who could not—would not—leave well enough alone until the mystery was solved; you had found that to be a very cute quality on him, as it usually got him in the most interestingly awkward situations. “So?”

“So?” You threw his question back and giggled at his frown. “Curiosity killed the cat!”

“But satisfaction brought it back.” His grin now mirrored your own as he stalked closer to your unsuspecting form. “So, [Name], tell me!”

“No!” You cried and danced away from his reaching hands. “Never!” And, thus, the chase began. He had been your friend since you were a babe, and some things just never change. Even now, he was still your best friend. You hoped what you had with him didn’t ever change… Not that you would ever tell him that, he teased you enough as it was.

“Got you!” He cried, catching you around the waist in a surprisingly tight grip. “Now, what shall I do with the fair princess?”

“Let her go?” You suggested cheekily, but you didn’t mind being held captive; it had been far too long since he last played any childish games with you and you were brimming with excitement at the thought.

“No, I don’t believe that is how the story goes!” He smiled one of his rare smiles and you stopped to admire the simple beauty. “I think I shall kidnap the fair maiden!”

“Oh?” You snapped out of you ogling contest and smiled back. “What if the fair maiden puts up a fight?”

He pressed his forehead against yours, his smile widening. “Then I’ll just have to enchant her!”

Somehow, something changed in that moment, but what it was, you weren’t so sure. Despite your fears, you knew that this slow change wouldn’t be a bad thing, but possible something enchanting in itself. “I don’t think that would be a problem.” You kissed his cheek and winked at his curious look. “I think she is already enchanted.

His grip loosened enough for you to slip away and, when he realized it, he sighed heavily. “Maybe you’re not the one enchanted…”

It would be years before you truly understood that simple phrase uttered on the beach that day. The impact they had wasn’t all that grand, nothing worthy of a fairytale, but it still warmed your heart to this day. He would always enchant you and you, him.

Take My Hand And Never Let Go Chapter Four D is for doubt

Summary: If you could write your love story, what would it say? Would it include the good with the bad? The sadness with the joy? The laughter with the pain? You x OC. A series of drabbles.



 Take My Hand And Never Let Go


K.N. Proctor


Chapter Four:

D is for doubt



There has always been a faint flicker of doubt in your mind, just a slight hint of worry that he was not who he claimed to be, that the boy you grew up with, grew to love, had changed. You always felt that he kept too many secrets and that he has never quite told you the truth… Perhaps that is what hurt you more than anything, was that maybe he doubted you. “William, I…”

“Hm?” His bright eyes bore into yours and you nearly lost your train of thought. How could you have such a man as this? His pressed a finger under your chin and righted it. “[Name], darling, you are drooling…

“Oh!” Your face warmed as you hastily rubbed the saliva away. “Sorry… Uh, well.” Great, where were you going with this? You glanced back into his bottomless orbs; honestly, you just couldn’t seem to remember…

The faint twitch at his lips and the widening of his eyes, all pointed to his superiority complex. For whatever reason, he figured himself more important than you were, or so you believed. “Hm.”

“’Hm’?!” You huffed and smacked his arm for the heck of it. Why, you sincerely wondered, you cared about such an arrogant man… It was mindboggling. “You are so mean!” And you stomped away.

“Wait, [Name].” He caught you around the waist, holding you securely as you fell back into his chest. To make matters worse, his breath tickled your neck, sending a faint tremor down your spine. “I apologize, I meant no harm.”

You swallowed thickly, why couldn’t he be unattractive?! “Right.” Somehow, you doubted that. You strained against his arms, but you had little luck. Plus, you were for certain you wanted to leave his arms… “Please let me go…”

“No,” He pulled you tighter to him. “Not until you tell me what is wrong.”

“Nothing.” You whispered weakly. “I promise… It is silly… I just… Why can’t you be more honest? Why can’t you be more honest with me?” He owed you that much. It wasn’t as if it was a lot to ask either.

His arms dropped and he seemed so far away. “I never meant to harm you, [Name], but, as you should know, that is how I have always been… That is how I protect myself.”

You watched him, playing close attention to the signs that he might bolt. “I don’t expect you to tell me everything, but I am your best friend,” And so much more, you silently added. “I want you to be able to trust me… Even if it isn’t a lot.”

“I do trust you…” He hesitated briefly, but you smiled encouragingly. “I just do not trust myself, [Name]. I would hate to ruin the image you have of me…”

“That isn’t going to happen.” Now, you had him trapped, with your arms securely around his waist. “I promise. Honest.”

“There is one thing I can be honest about…” His unsettlingly bright eyes bore into your own comparably plain ones. “I do consider you my closest and dearest friend… I trust you with my life.”

“Baby steps, huh?” You giggled and grabbed his hand. Trust is something slowly built, earned piece by piece, and that is not something you are willing to destroy because of some silly worries and fears. You watched him, enjoying his emotions as if they were your own. Maybe your doubts were still there, but with his honesty, perhaps they would one day disappear….

Take My Hand And Never Let Go Chapter Three C Is For Contagious

Summary: If you could write your love story, what would it say? Would it include the good with the bad? The sadness with the joy? The laughter with the pain? You x OC. A series of drabbles.



Take My Hand And Never Let Go


K.N. Proctor


Chapter Three:

C Is For Contagious


There he was; the very source of your obvious distress—well obvious to everyone but him. How could he just lie there comfortably? How dare he do so while you suffer?! Well, this would certainly not do…

You hovered behind him as he attempted to read the chapter for this week’s assignment—something that you probably should be doing, but you couldn’t care less right now. “Darling…” You cooed into his ear, gently playing with his hair. “Sweetheart…”

He quirked a brow, but that was apparently all the response you were going to get. Apparently, the book was much more fascinating than you were.

‘I am going to burn his library one of these days…’ You sighed, moving to the end of the couch. Gently picking up his legs, you rearranged them so that his feet were in your lap—this should have tipped him off since you happened to despise feet. “I am sick, honey…”

“Perhaps you should go to the doctor.” He offered, still keeping his eyes locked onto the paper before him, but you did notice the faint twitch of his lips, which either meant amusement or annoyance…either way, at least it meant he was paying you some attention.

You let your lower stick out, trying to look as helplessly pathetic as possible. Think, wounded puppy. “Come on, can’t you stop reading for one second, dear?”

Finally, he sighed, tossing the book onto the coffee table. “You must be ill; I don’t think I have ever been addressed by such endearments.” He pressed a hand to your forehead. “Hm, you don’t feel too warm…”

His unusually cool hand chilled you, but you moved closer to him nonetheless. “But I am ill… I may not recover!”

He didn’t seem too convinced. His amused grin added fuel to your growing fire of annoyance and frustration. He dropped his hand, recovered his book, and returned to his place on the couch. “I am sure it isn’t as bad as you think, {Name]. After all, you have always been a bit dramatic.”

This time, you weren’t being dramatic…well, okay, so you were a little bit, but he really had made you ill and you were determined to prove it! You pressed closer until there was no space between you, leaning forward so that your breath surely tickled his ear. “I am sick and it is all your fault…”

He tensed when you had moved so close, almost appearing as if he had quit breathing altogether…which confused and intrigued you, so you noted that reaction in the back of your mind. “What?” He finally muttered uncharacteristically.

You were rendered speechless just for a moment for his odd actions, but you recovered, nuzzling his neck affectionately. “Oh, I said ‘I am sick and it is all your fault’…”

He scooted to the side, pulling you from his personal space. He seemed flustered…never had you seen him so speechless…his reaction, it was interesting. Finally, he cleared his throat and tried to appear calm—he failed something awful. “Now, I am afraid that I am confused…”

“Are you?” You kept moving forward until he had nowhere to escape—he was trapped between you and the couch. “I think you must have some idea of what I mean…”

He studied you—it wasn’t like his normal appraisals, but this was something deep and probing, as if he was trying to see past everything you hid behind into your inner being. “I see.”

It was too late for you to catch what the look in his eyes meant, he had already turned the tables and had you trapped. “Uh, what are you doing?”

“You see, I think I might have caught the little bug that you have.” His smile was sly as he slowly inched closer. “I am afraid you are highly contagious, [Name]…”

There was something about the way he said you name…it sent your stomach into flip-flops and, what you had intended to be a game, was twisting into something you weren’t so sure you could name. You were trapped, but you weren’t about to accept that—you weren’t locked into his web just yet… “Don’t look at me like that!”

He was close, pressing his forehead against you and you lost all hope. “Oh, [Name], you never finish what you start.” The way he purred your name, it didn’t sound like something a friend would do…

“I-I… I was joking okay! Back off.” Yet, he didn’t move and each second he lingered there, the more your will crumbled. “What are you doing?”

“Letting you feel how I feel each and every day.” He drew back, but not too far—you could easily make out the flecks of gold in his intense eyes. “You see, I have been sick for a very long time…but I think I know the cure.”

Your eyes snapped closed, expecting a kiss…and he did give you one, but one innocently on the cheek. “William…”

He pulled you close, allowing you to rest comfortable in his arms, and you held onto him just as tightly. Well, if this was a sickness, you wouldn’t mind being it incurable…

Take My Hand And Never Let Go Chapter Two B Is For Bothersome

Summary: If you could write your love story, what would it say? Would it include the good with the bad? The sadness with the joy? The laughter with the pain? You x OC. A series of drabbles.

Author’s Note: This seems a little corny to me, but cute as well… Do enjoy.



Take My Hand And Never Let Go


K.N. Proctor


Chapter Two:

B Is For Bothersome



You had been called many things in your life: airheaded, foolish, pretty, courageous and just plain dumb… However, he liked to call your special ways “cute”, which was perhaps nicer than anything else, but, frankly, you weren’t sure how to take that.

“Cute,” You began loudly to catch his attention, which was currently focused on some lame document. However, he didn’t even flinch, you noticed, “meaning attractive or pretty… Especially in a childish, youthful or delicate way…”

He merely “hummed” never even sparing you a glance as irritating and insulting as that was…although, honestly, it didn’t surprise you in the slightest.

“So,” You purposely snapped the dictionary closed next to his ear as loudly as you could. While you finally had caught his attention, now you weren’t so sure that you wanted it. “Which am I?” You were dying to know how he perceived you…yet, at the same time, you were also dreading it.

He rubbed his ear ruefully, his gaze not as friendly as normal…okay, it was as friendly as ever since he was the type that always seemed to have a stick shoved in an uncomfortable place. “Pardon? Just what are you going on about, [Name]?”

You hopped onto the desk right in front of him, forcing yourself into his personal bubble. You grasped his face and forced his stunningly blue eyes to meet yours. “Look, answer the question, okay? Am I cute like a child? Youth? Or do you find me cute in a delicate way?”

He blinked…and then had the audacity to laugh at you. After several long, almost unbearable seconds, he recovered. “Oh, [Name], how bothersome….”

“That wasn’t very nice!” You snapped before lowering your lip in a childlike way; it was an attempt to be cute…and to irritate him. Bonus, it worked. You flicked through the dictionary hastily, barely noticing the sizeable paper cuts you received from your careless treatment.

He snorted, but you didn’t bother to raise your eyes to his. “What are you doing now? You do realize you are hurting yourself, dear?”

“Ah-ha! Bothersome: to annoy, especially by petty provocation…” Your eyes jerked back to his angrily. “I am not petty!”

He grinned. “Do you even know what petty means?”

“Of course I do!” Minutes ticked by before you turned to the dictionary once more. “I am not small-minded or of little importance!”

“Of course not.” His eyes locked on you and he seemed to size you up…which, in turn, made you nervous because you had no idea what was going on in that mind of his. “Hm, I don’t think I can truly answer your question… I think the dictionary is wrong, there is another definition for “cute”, you see.”

Now he had you curious…and suspicious. “Oh?”

“Yes, you see,” He caught your wrist and jerked you forward into his lap, making sure you fit snug against him, “I think you are unique. Your cuteness is fit only for you and there aren’t words enough to describe it.”

You knew he was either mocking you, full of bull or serious…with the latter being the most doubtful. However, it didn’t really matter because those words touched you greatly. You pulled him tighter toward you and just enjoyed the embrace. “You could try you know, Mister Wordy Pants.”

He laughed, the low rumble sounded pleasant to your ears. “Cute, [Name], but bothersome, too.”

You allowed the subject to drop merely because he held you in his arms. Actually, you might let more slid if he did this more often… Not that you were about to tell him that as that was sure to be bothersome in itself.


Devil’s Conquest

Summary: I want to break you, change you, destroy you, mold you into what I want and desire. You are mine, whether you see it or not… I will possess you; own you, every little drop… Dark oneshot.

Author’s Note: I think it maybe very well obvious who this person is… He is very devilish, if I do say. This is an old one-shot, but I thought I would share it, too. Enjoy.

Warning: Dark.


Devil’s Conquest


K.N. Proctor


I want to break you, change you, destroy you, mold you into what I want and desire. Your sweet, simple, naïve nature is utterly disgusting, unacceptable and your trust is so easily acquired. But, that, too will work to my will, as long as you continue downhill.

You’ll never see it coming, but very few do, never see the monster that lurks so close, clawing at the surface… Close enough to burn, close enough to break, close enough to utterly and completely destroy everything in its wake. But you never have been very good at seeing things clear… Have you, dear?

Slowly, I prefer it that way, bit by bit, day by day, and moment by moment, I take you away. Stealing thoughts, breaking dreams, morals drop, and silence’s screams. You are mine, whether you see it or not… I will possess you; own you, every little drop…

But, I mustn’t get ahead of myself, as I said, that isn’t me… I am a patience man, you see, I have all the time in the world, all eternity. But I am doubtful it will take so long, innocence is easily crush, and you have never been that strong.

I drift closer, and this should raise alarm, but you are ever so trusting… I loath and love that about you, so pleasing, so disgusting… I suppose I was innocent once, a time before time itself, so many ages ago. My mind shifts, thinking of what to say as you slowly stroll.

There is no need for words; you know what I am after. Why don’t you stop me? Don’t you fear the hereafter? However, there is no fear in your eyes, and with pained breath, your eyes paint rivers of tears you’ve cried.

I slither closer, so much like a snake. Oh, there is so much I plan to take. Your cheek is smooth and cool in my hand as I brush the tears away. My hand trails as I make my plan to lead you astray.

You never waver, simple watching me with those eyes. The love that is there is so undeserving yet you give me that as well, you aren’t aware of where my intentions lie. You move closer still, as you have always loved the warmth I radiate, so different from the cold heart in its wake.

“Hush.” My lips brush your ear and you shiver something furious with a faint pout. “Are you afraid?” I knew better than to ask, knew that someone so simple couldn’t have me figured out.

“No,” And I was right again, but about such things, I am rarely wrong. Your eyes too wide, too innocent, too frustratingly chaste meet mine, the plea is there and you soon will be fully mine. “Why should I be?”

Answering such a question would be my downfall, so I refrain and simply take your hand; we go by whatsoever we maybe befall. I didn’t miss the shiver of pleasure it send down your spine, as I said, you soon will be mine. The road I lead you on is anything but narrow or straight, but way past the proper gate. “Come with me?”

You answer is quick, assured. “Of course.” Too trusting, too weak… It will be so easy to break you, so easy to tweak.

The path is what most choose, and your soul, you are soon to loose. That mere thought sends me to bliss, and you are unaware of the binds I twist. “Closer…”

You press against me in lover’s embrace, perhaps I misjudged you, seems you aren’t so chaste.  My little, pure white dove is slowly slipping in the mud. “I am cold.” Your hands tangle in my hair as you whisper so bold.

Seems I have a lot to learn about my little doll. With my face buried in your hair, you miss my mischievous stare, miss your oncoming fall. “Of course… I will warm you, darling.” Such endearments are your undoing, not that you would notice, but it is your heart I am misusing. Inch by inch, I have your innocence’s stripped bare, but, my dear, you just don’t seem to care.

“Are we home yet?” The darkening of your eyes, the subtle changes are aligned, and now you truly are mine. There is not hope for you at this point, not reason to try, I am so sorry to disappoint.

“Close, my love.” Lies are so easily told, but so are you to mold. Damned are we both, damned as any can be, but not as much as me. Hell’s gate is but a breath away and there is nothing left to take, all, but your soul, as is the tales of old. You are mine now, you see… For now and to eternity.

Gap Ministries Bible Studies

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